This is about the 326th draft I've sat down to write about life. No, you won't find any fun DIY projects or holiday décor ideas in this post. You will find the ramblings of my quarter-life crisis as I'm referring to it.
Where to begin, I feel at times that I have bitten off more than I can chew lately. Part of me feels that it is to fill a void in my life. What started as an interview for an exciting new position with my company back in May turned into my husband taking a job in our home town and me staying right where I'm at. Part of me is shouting for joy to have him home. We've spent our whole marriage with both of us working away and 75% of the time he was on nights. Now, our goal of having him home and on a semi-normal schedule has come to fruition. But, the other part of me resents my choice of family for missed career opportunities.
I struggle with a common conundrum that many 21st century women face. I left college with a world of dreams and excitement to build my career into a prosperous and exciting life. Then a child happened. What was my main objective was suddenly in my review mirror. She became my life's focus.
Now, I struggle with the tug of war between having a career or being a present mom. Because, let's be honest, only the select few get to have it all. And, no matter how much feminist try to change this fact, it's still blatantly clear that women can only wholly have one or the other. You can have a successful career in which you spend 50+ hours a week away or you can be a present mom who spends what little time she can earning an income for her family just to maximize the time with her family.
So here I sit questioning my life's goals and everything I have work towards...is this a quarter life crisis? In an attempt to be more present in my daughters life I have given in to more "big ideas" to help me achieve this new found dream of having it all. Here I am, overworking myself with blogging, side gigs and direct sale businesses to ironically be able to afford more time with my children, but where has it left me? A plate stacked too high with dirty dishes and it's tumbling down on my sweet little family.
Back to square one...how do you fit the square peg of a career gal into the round hole of mommy?